Monday, March 12, 2007

What's that on those ears? How did they style their hair? Did they wear anything around their neck? How do they dress? What kind of shoe are they wearing? And what kind of shops do they walk into? What do they buy? What food do they order?

Class outings are excellent opportunities for further observation of all of you, and for experiencing you in a new way. The hectic nature of school life and the moulds school casts everyone into (especially in terms of appearance) make it difficult for observation of some parts of your selves to be made. Let everyone be in civvies, and you start to see football jerseys, gigantic earrings, high-heeled slippers and whatnot. Over a long period of time, I hope to be able to see your tastes, attitudes and personalities show through your dressing and behaviour. I hope to discover that part of you that is yourself, that part I am unable to discover through our dealings in school.

Through our interactions, I'm also able to look at how comfortable I am around all of you, and to have a go at engendering positive energetics between us. All this seems to be much easier through pool, bowling and over the dinner table than over our Economics notes or Physics tutorials.

Not every piece of interpersonal knowledge comes by easily, or even very rationally. In my search for classmates to be comfortable around and to trust, I find it difficult not to cling on to my initial impression of her obstinately, even when certain things have surfaced to present some reason to challenge this initial impression. Instinctively, I'm left wondering why I'm so reluctant to revise my opinion of her, and whether things would have been different were she any of my old friends. She knows of my opinion of her, so why is she giving me reasons to challenge it?

I wanted very much to resolve the uncertainties I encountered, as I sometimes do, with such interpersonal issues. By the end of the class outing, I felt an intense hunger, a craving to spend more time with my friends during the holidays, just to find out more about them and about others through them. But as I travelled back home on the train, I was reminded of my 10/25, and was left wondering again...

Wei Zhong @ 8:33 pm